


do i make you horny, baby?

by paperthinn



Series: seeley's favorites [14]
Category: Bones (TV)
Genre: Awkward Boners, Awkward Sexual Situations, Come Marking, Hand Jobs, Lab Sex, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Premature Ejaculation, Semi-Public Sex, Suit Kink, Suit Porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 12:41:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25969861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperthinn/pseuds/paperthinn
Summary: " It makes Hodgins want to shove him onto the floor and make out with him right there in the lab, really, which is a troubling thought. When’s the last time he was that reckless? Probably last week. "
Relationships: Zack Addy/Jack Hodgins
Series: seeley's favorites [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1715506
Comments: 2
Kudos: 65





	do i make you horny, baby?

**Author's Note:**

> the title comes from both austin powers (sex god tbh, he was trending on twitter today) and doja cat's "rules," and it has been stuck in my head on repeat all goddamn day; I finished this the other night but never posted it, so here's jack hodgins with a thing for well-dressed men!!!
> 
> bones also awoke the possibility for a new name, because joshua was a bit 'heavy,' so to speak, with a few traumas i've dealt with coming from my josh era - I've decided as of yesterday i'm going to go by seeley to see if it fits, which is the newest development in the "jaws chronicles."
> 
> mind the notes at the bottom !

Hodgins was halfway through his 'emergency' playlist when he walked into his lab to find Zack there, spinning idly in one of the chairs. It was the one with the broken wheel — it didn't move well, although it spun around normal. The squeaking of it was more annoying than anything, but not quite as annoying as waiting for an overrated (and mandatory) event to start at the Jeffersonian. Hodgins had tried to back out, of course, and not just because formal wear was required. He'd spent ages checking his tux in the mirror.

Brennan hadn't arrived yet, apparently still out with Booth interrogating what was assumed to be the killer in their latest case. Zack seemed bored, for the most part, watching some beetles intently with the back of his chair turned toward the door. Hodgins sighed, pulls his tie loose around his neck, even if it had taken him approximately 15 minutes to get it perfectly centered. He'd never been good at getting dressed up, even if people tell him he cleans up nice. Hodgins stops his music, tugs his headphones out and throws them on the table next to the door. He's about to comment on the shades being closed (Hodgins _hates_ when people close his blinds), when Zack spins toward him.

Hodgins doesn't know what it is — it could be the tie, or the messy hair paired with the fitted tux, or it could be the shined shoes that gleam in the lab's lighting. He does know, though, that it's a big shame he's never seen Zackary Uriah Addy dressed up before. The breath he'd been taking sticks to his throat, and it feels as though he's eaten crackers (saltines, specifically, because Hodgins can't stand them,) with an already dry mouth. The event doesn't seem like the biggest problem, now, with the heaviness of arousal settling deep in Hodgins' gut, and Zack stares at him with vague curiosity.

"Doctor Hodgins? Has Doctor Brennan arrived back yet?" Zack's leg kicks backward, heel bumping against the broken wheel of his chair. Hodgins opens his mouth to answer, closes it again to try and get some saliva back onto his tongue, into his throat. The black bowtie and the white, folded collar of the dress shirt presses into Zack's throat as he swallows. 

"What?" Hodgins mutters, dumbstruck, "Oh. No. They've— they're still interviewing the killer. Have I seen you in a tux before? I swear I haven't," Hodgins' eyes trail down Zack's body before they flicker back up, effectively meeting the man's gaze. He brushes his tongue over his bottom lip, happy his mouth isn't as dry as a few moments ago. He feels like an idiot staring at his colleague, in the doorway of his own office. Zack looks at him with the look that tells Hodgins he's confused — Hodgins takes a deep breath, tries to convince himself he isn't slowly filling out his fairly expensive (and new) dress pants. 

"I've never found the need to dress up, even for fancy events. I simply don't understand why you would need to. Doctor Saroyan said I'd get fired if I didn't, though." Zack messes with the cuff of the jacket, then brings his fingers up to tug gently at his collar. "She tied my bowtie for me, but I think she tied it too tight. She was in quite a hurry." Hodgins licks his lips again, straightens himself.

"I'll fix it for you," He says. This is fine. This is fine. Completely, utterly fine. Hodgins steps forward, until he's in front of Zack, just barely looming over him. He has to bend down the tiniest bit, although not too much, and it takes one quick tug to pull the bowtie apart. Zack sighs in relief, his breath blowing over Hodgins' neck, and seems happy enough to sit still whilst his friend does up his bowtie. It takes Hodgins a few tries, _not_ because he's struggling to grasp onto his sanity when Zack tips his head back the littlest bit, but because he's a bit inexperienced.

"Are you alright, Doctor Hodgins?" Zack asks, voice a bit low. Hodgins nods, not trusting his voice; he tugs on the ends of the bowtie to make sure it's tied at least a little bit correctly, satisfied when it stays in place, although he's almost fully hard in his pants now. 

"Of course." But Hodgins steps back, mistake number one, and Zack immediately catches sight of the obscene tent in the front of the damned pants. They leave nothing to the imagination, really — Hodgins thinks maybe he should've resisted harder; maybe he should've thrown himself down some stairs just for an excuse to back out of tonight's event.

"Are you aroused?" Zack sounds genuinely shocked, which is _not_ good, because Zack is never surprised. Ever. He still sounds as innocent as ever; Hodgins stops, freezes in his spot, looks directly at Zack and swallows thickly. Mistake number two is the nervous stutter of _"no?,"_ which is obviously a lie.

Mistake number three is, "Sorry?" after which Zack goes completely silent, his eyebrows drawing together in contemplation. He thinks for a long, painful moment, looks down at his shined shoes and the black socks that disappear under his neat dress pants. Hodgins doesn't say anything either, just stands there awkwardly as if he isn't completely hard now. He can't take his eyes off the tie. He tied that. His fingers were so close to Zack's throat, knuckles brushing the pretty skin there — Hodgins draws in a shaky breath, has to mentally tell himself _no, don't even think about touching yourself._

"Why are you aroused?" Zack finally asks, looks at Hodgins' erection as if it's completely normal. Zack has never been normal, not really. Hodgins fights the urge to hide. Should he? He wishes Brennan and Booth would hurry up already so they can go. Hodgins goes to mess with his collar, forgets he'd undone his tie. Hodgins should be honest. Zack will understand, right? _Sorry, but the sight of you wearing that gorgeous tux so casually, sitting in_ my _chair with the damned broken wheel had me hot and bothered._

"You want me to—" Hodgins can't stop staring. He tries, eyes shifting to the beetles Zack had his attention on earlier, but they just drift back to the suit-clad width of his friend's shoulders. 

"Tell me, yes," Zack says, looking curiously at Hodgins. It's that moment that they make eye contact, and Hodgins shudders (it's so small you could barely see it. Zack pays attention to detail).

"The, um, the suit. You're– Oh, _christ,"_ Hodgins gasps in embarrassment, blood creeping up his neck toward his face. Zack takes his bottom lip between his teeth, chewing on it absentmindedly. He kicks his heel against the broken wheel again, jerking the chair a bit. Hodgins is so fucking hard.

"It's a tuxedo, not a suit. I don't understand," Zack mutters. Hodgins laughs, then, tilting his head back in disbelief. He might be hysterical — of _course_ Zack has no idea why Hodgins would get aroused. He's smart, but he's also an idiot.

(If Hodgins said that out loud, Zack would say those statements contradict each other, and then Hodgins would have to explain that although he's a genius, he does have his dumb moments.)

“You’re a very attractive man,” Hodgins winces. That’s not the best way to put it, he thinks, although it’s the truth. Shouldn’t he know Zack appreciates honesty? He’s never been uncomfortable with anything before, really, which Hodgins takes a brief moment to think about, “And I am _affected_ by that,” Zack peers up at him.

“I’m not conventionally attractive, although I find myself pleased by the compliment. I don’t think I’ve seen you _‘affected’_ before, however,” If Hodgins looks hard enough, he swears he sees a light blush, the slightest of reds flushed over his cheeks. It makes Hodgins want to shove him onto the floor and make out with him right there in the lab, really, which is a troubling thought. When’s the last time he was _that_ reckless? Probably last week.

“I told you it was the— You really _are_ clueless, it’s almost unsettling,” Hodgins says. Zack opens his mouth to speak, swerving a bit on the chair, and he’s hit his foot against the broken wheel enough that it’s scuffed the heel of his shoe. Hodgins is annoyed, “You’re hot in that tux, I’m so fucking hard I could pound nails, and I’ll be in deep trouble if our boss sees me like this. Does that sum it up? Great,” Hodgins breathes a heavy sigh, turns to find the closest bathroom he can jerk off in — maybe Zack will forget it and they can move on.

Unlikely.

“I find that I’m aroused at the thought that you’re aroused,” Zack all-but whispers, the drag of his shoe against the floor following. Hodgins turns around slowly, as if he might provoke Zack in some way, stares at him blankly. Zack looks back at him. His eyes flicker down to the man's crotch, seeing that _yes,_ Zack is growing hard. Hodgins stands there, in his own goddamn lab, so hard in his pants it _hurts._

He blinks, and then he's got a hand wrapped around Zack's throat, in the middle ground of firm and gentle. Zack tilts his head up, and his mouth opens the tiniest bit, tongue darting over his lips. "Are you alright with this?" Hodgins mutters, shoves Zack's knees over with his leg and leans into the chair — Zack's body heat radiates; it presses against his knee in its new position, buried into the space between Zack's thigh and the arm of the chair.

Zack looks up at him, spreads his knees apart a little bit so Hodgins can place his leg between them, and says a firm, "Yes." Hodgins leans down, his spine protesting the bend, and plants a firm kiss on Zack's mouth, slides his hand up and drags the man's jaw open so he can slip his tongue inside. Booth and Brennan could be back any minute, and although Hodgins was originally hoping they'd hurry up, he's suddenly started praying that they take as much time as needed.

Regardless of how much extra time they _might_ have — they always end up delaying something — Hodgins works his way down blindly and manages to get Zack's pants open, slides his hand inside and tugs his cock out. He strokes it a few times and Zack moans into his mouth, hips jumping into the hand wrapped firmly around his prick. Hodgins pulls back, looks down between them to get a good view of Zack's cock — he twists his wrist into a more comfortable position, slides his thumb over the slit; the obscene combination of Zack's prick and the tux has Hodgins rushing to pull his own cock out, struggling with the zipper. 

Zack's hands are slightly shaking — something Hodgins doubts he'll see again — he wraps his hand around Hodgins' cock hesitantly, unsure as he strokes him, draws in a shaky breath. Hodgins groans under his breath; he kisses Zack again, glances toward the blinds. Hadn't he been angry earlier because Zack had closed them? 

"We could've done this so much sooner," Hodgins mutters, "I could've had you anywhere I wanted," Zack grips at Hodgins' arms; he gasps in a giant breath, presses his face to Hodgins' ironed tux jacket.

 _"Stop,"_ He pleads, and his cock leaks in a way that tells Hodgins he enjoys listening to him talk.

"Could've bent you over and eaten you out at any time, _oh, fuck,"_ Hodgins wraps a hand around himself, jerking both of them off and _what was that—_ Zack chokes on a miserable sob and _comes,_ spills over Hodgins' hand and it's so _early;_ Zack rolls his head over Hodgins' shoulder and his body trembles, shakes some even after he's done spilling.

 _"Zack,"_ Hodgins gasps— his left hand his sticky, covered in come, and his right hand works his cock over, somewhere in the middle ground of nowhere close and way too close and he's _overwhelmed._ "What was _that?"_ Zack gasps for breath, curls his fingers around Hodgins' arm. 

"I don't know I–" A red blush creeps up Zack's neck, not that Hodgins cares much; he's still jerking himself off, recovering from one of the hottest experiences of his _life,_ and Zack still has his face pressed into Hodgins' body. "I apologize," Zack moans miserably. Hodgins pauses.

"You _apologize?_ Are you embarrassed? Jesus, I mentioned bending you over and you _came,"_ Hodgins laughs to himself in disbelief, reaches under the body pressed against him and grips onto the arm of his chair, smearing come everywhere. He has to catch his breath.

"It was unexpected," Zack mutters, leans back in the chair and his face is so red it's laughable. He's still half-hard, not that Hodgins cares, still achingly hard himself. Zack looks down at Hodgins' hand and the come stuck on his fingers, averts his eyes quickly.

Hodgins is quiet for a moment, starts slowly stroking himself, "I want to come on the tux," He says, voice dropped low, "I want to come on the tux and I want you to walk around that damned event knowing what I did," Hodgins breathes, leans over and fumbles with a tissue. He repositions himself, looks up at Zack while he cleans his hand, drags it under the jacket of the tux and moves it out of the way. "Are you alright with that?" Hodgins asks, grabs onto the chair and pulls his other knee up so he's practically on Zack's lap, straddling the man's legs.

 _"Oh,_ yes," Zack's cheeks are still a bit pink as Hodgins immediately begins to stroke himself in earnest again, pushing himself up and hopes the chair doesn't break more or something. He lays his hand on Zack's stomach, feels him breathing quick. His eyes flick upward, watching Zack watch him, and the brunette's eyes are focused on Hodgins hand, wrapped around himself.

"You've got a pretty mouth," Hodgins mutters, reaches up and rests his thumb over Zack's lips, pushes it inside a bit — Zack drags it in, lays it on his tongue; Hodgins moans under his breath, fucks into his fist with thrusts as hard as he can make them. "Shit," Hodgins groans. Precome slicks his hand and he breathes in a loud breath through his nose. Zack curls his tongue around Hodgins' thumb.

Hodgins groans, reaches down and rolls his balls in his palm; Zack looks him in the eyes and _yeah,_ he's done for — he hunches over and thrusts forward into his fist, shoots stripes of come over Zack's white dress shirt. Zack's mouth falls slack around Hodgins' thumb and his body jerks; Hodgins groans loud, trembles as he leans down to kiss Zack again.

Zack presses up into him, body warm even as he tries not to smear come _between_ them, determined to not make more of a mess. Hodgins pulls away, looks down at the arm of the chair and then he puts his attention to the come drying on Zack's shirt. Zack's hair looks messy as always, although his skin is tinted red and he's sweating. Does Hodgins look as affected as he feels? 

He pushes off the chair, stands up and the chair immediately begins to give out, no longer able to withstand the weight of even one human. Zack yells, startles and has to jump out of it before he crashes to the ground — Hodgins is going to be the one that has to convince Cam to get him a new chair.

"Careful," Hodgins mutters, tucks himself away and then reaches up to fix Zack's tie, pulls his jacket over the (luckily) white shirt. Hodgins thinks he wouldn't have cared if it wasn't white; he would've stained it anyways. "Don't want to end up dirty, do you?" Hodgins laughs to himself. He needs to wash his hands. Zack turns away and fixes his pants, eyes the door suspiciously.

"Doctor Brennan should be back now," He turns and looks at the way Hodgins shakes his hands to dry them in distaste. Paper towels exist. Hodgins scowls at him. 

"Maybe. You should button that," Hodgins swallows thickly, steps forward and buttons Zack's tux jacket himself, lucky most of the damage is covered. Zack peers down at him and Hodgins figures it couldn't hurt — he kisses the brunette one last time, steps away again to do his own tie. He gets it first try; today must be his lucky day. Hodgins laughs under his breath.

The door to the lab opens and Hodgins startles, looking at Cam with wide eyes. "Um, Agent Booth and Doctor Brennan just got here," She looks at the chair toppled over on the floor, "Is that the one with the broken wheel? I'll put in for a new one," And then she's gone. Hodgins breathes a relieved breath, places a hand on Zack's elbow as he slides past him to gather with the others.

Hodgins has to pull Zack away from the event halfway through for a quick blowjob, because apparently he has a hard time concentrating when he knows Zack's marked with his come.

**Author's Note:**

> hey, it's me again -
> 
> don't be shy, hit me up;  
> twt. _mortals, hotchnersmind  
> insta. paperthnn
> 
> (see my pronoun sets and names at pronouny.xyz/u/_mortals)


End file.
